Friday 15 March 2013

A Fiery Death on Evil Train Conductors

This began as a rant on the book of faces but quickly became too long. Enjoy.
Disclaimer, there are more than a few swears below...

Until you have seen a train that is so packed you cannot move to the extent that you don't need any kind of hand rail, and for about five consecutive stops lets on at least triple the amount of people that get off... Then and only then will you be able to say that your train is too crowded.
I don't care what crap you've been through today, I don't care what rules you have to follow: the door was open, there was space for at least another five people (who could've moved down the God damned train!) and you chose to be a pretty man and refuse me entry.
But do you know what? I can even understand why you did that. After all, every job has its awkward rules that we have to follow... But compounded by the fact that I was already late, clearly sprinting to get on the train and then refused entry; you've just earned yourself the top spot on my death list by saying "it's only half an hour until the next train, you can get on that one."
If I am running for a train at literally the fastest pace I can manage, with speed blur and general awesome in my wake, do you not think I have a GOOD FUCKING REASON TO BE ON THE TRAIN THAT IS NOW, NOT IN HALF AN HOUR?!
What if somebody I love had been in an accident and I needed to get to the hospital with all speed? What if I was heading for the job interview of my life? What if there was a deadly computer virus about to wipe out computers everywhere and I was the only one who could stop it?
The overwhelming odds are that none of these would be true, but if they were, on your head would it be, Mr arsehole conductor.
And maybe I was in the wrong, maybe I should've arrived in Leeds just a couple of minutes early?
No. I got to Leeds as fast as I could, riding a train that had been delayed by 8 minutes.
Northern Rail: get your fucking shit together.

Thursday 14 March 2013

Humble Bundle for Android 5 - A review

So for those of you who don't know what the Humble Bundle is, it's a collection of games free from Digital Rights Management (DRM) that for a limited time you can buy for whatever price you feel. You can choose where the money you pay goes, be it to the developers of the game, the people who organised the bundle or to a couple of different charities. So it's for a good cause too :) You have the games forever and can install them on Windows, Linux, Mac or Android so basically all of your options are covered!
As an added bonus, when you buy the games you get the soundtracks for at least some of them!

I've been playing these games on my Nexus 7 tablet, since my laptop isn't all that powerful for gaming. A slight disclaimer: I've not done a thorough try-out of each game, since the humble bundle is a limited-time offer, and if by some chance I manage to convince you to get it, you'll have time.

Beat Hazard Ultra
This is one of the best concepts for a video game I've ever seen! It's a twin-stick shooter, powered by music. You can use the in-game music or your own music to power your spaceship's weapons and collect power-ups as well as cash. It's not a game to relax to: as it's quite tense and sometimes the interface of a touch-screen is a little difficult to manage, but through all that it's amazing!
You can get a lot of variety by using different songs, and it's really entertaining seeing which of your favourite songs are powerhouses of space-shippy goodness. The perks system keeps it fresh too, allowing you the fun of more weapons or of trying to get a higher score.
The warning as you open the game of strobing effects is dead on: the more powerful your weapons, the more bright, flashing lights that explode across the screen.

8/10

Dynamite Jack
I've not played through as much of this as I'd like, but it's not a bad game: Escape from enemy-filled mines by blowing holes in the walls of the mines and distract guards.
It's a fun game, but it gets old fairly quickly.
The controls work well on a touch-screen, and the soundtrack is exciting.
I think I'll play through a bit more of it, but I don't know if I'll play it to the end, it doesn't really grab me. I really like the function of building one's own maps and sharing them online. You can play community-designed maps as well, so there's plenty to do even if you complete the built-in levels.

6/10

Solar 2
Easily my favourite game of this bundle. Start playing as an asteroid, floating through space. Increase your mass until you can become a planet, and then a life-bearing planet. Upgrade your way to a sun, neutron star and eventually even a black hole. Or remain as a life bearing planet and try to dominate the galaxy. As a star, try to accumulate as many planets bearing life as possible and take on other solar systems. Become a binary system, tertiary or even quandiary system!
Take on challenges set by the mysterious narrator, or just follow your own agenda, the choice is yours. Unlock God mode and extra physics options to put a different spin on the game.
The soundtrack is really chilled out and the game-play is magnificent on a touch-screen. This is a fantastic game to just chill out with, as it has the perfect amount of challenge to it.

9/10

Nightsky HD
I'm not sure what to make of this game... It looks like one of these "video games as art" sort of things, which I am totally OK with. The black-and-white-with-hints-of-colour is a delight to look at, and the game is nice and easy to play. The scroll-to-control mechanic. whilst not unique or original feels perfectly natural in this context, and it works tremendously well. The tutorial is very well executed, introducing things at just the right pace to keep it interesting.
Fiendishly addictive, you'll find it hard to put down. Whether or not the introductory story is going to be of any relevance has yet to be determined, but it's not the reason I'm playing.
Replayability is quite good, as the game offers an "alternative" mode for second playthroughs. This isn't really the sort of game that you can just pick up and play, nor is it the sort that you can just play for a few minutes to kill time...

7.5/10

Just to note, the next games can only be accessed by paying more than the average price (which at the time of buying is sitting at $6.82, or about £5)

Splice
An addition from a previous bundle, Splice is a game that you won't forget. I've not played anything like it before, though I don't doubt that there are similar games out there. It's a puzzle game and you control a molecule, trying to get it to split and morph into the desired shape. The piano soundtrack is gorgeous and the game just looks fantastic. This one will have you shouting at the screen in no time at all, but it feels brilliant when you beat a puzzle that's been irking you for hours.
The game offers little in the way of handholding, which depending on your outlook can be a good or a bad thing. Another good "time-killer", I find this a really good game to play whilst on public transport.

7.5/10

Super Hexagon
This game is absurdly difficult and before longs starts messing with your eyes. Just control your little triangle through the spinning maze of hexagons that will end your game if you touch one... Playing on the easiest difficulty, my best time is only about 18 seconds. Addictive as hell, you'll be promising yourself that "this time will be my last time" over and over as you try to improve on your best score.
Bright colours and frantic spinning, this game is good-looking but not easy to look at. This makes for another good time-waster, so approach with caution!

6/10

Dungeon Defenders
This is a huge game. From the looks of it, it was originally a PC game, but has been ported to work on touch devices. Sometimes the touch interface feels a little less than intuitive, but by and large it works well in this medium. This is a tower defence game with plenty of RPG elements to it. It looks great and performs really well (I like the option to tweak the graphics for better performance).
It takes a while to install, as it has to download a ton of data the first time you play. Don't be put off though: you'll get to play a game that can be played online with other enthusiasts, or alone to level up your hero and hone your skills. The learning curve is a little steep, but RPG old hands will be in familiar territory.
The cut-scenes and graphics are just beautiful and the soundtrack is good fun too. You'll be addicted in no time, but this is most definitely not a game for the casual gamer.
A slight niggle that I have is the in-game purchase option: you can buy in game cash by using real money from the real world. Lots of games do this, which is something that I tend to disagree with. Purchasing items like pets or potions from the in-game shop isn't cheap, so to get ahead, one has to spend real money to buy imaginary money to buy imaginary tools. I understand why it's a thing, but I don't like that it is.

8/10

Crayon Physics Deluxe
This is another one that's a repeat from a previous bundle. I haven't done much with this game as yet, but it's good fun.
Visually, Crayon Physics stunning and the soundtrack is nice and chilled. The game looks as if it's been drawn on brown paper with crayons (who'd have thought it from the title?) and involves collecting stars with a little red ball. Using your finger as a pencil, you have to get the ball to the star by drawing lines, boxes and other such objects.
A really nice game to relax to and the level editor option is a nice add-on too.

7/10

Sword & Sworcery EP
I just don't think I get this game. But then, I've never really been into point-and-click (or in this case tap) adventure games. The concept is really good, but the twitter-integration is a little strange. I suspect this is another "work of art" but like most art that isn't a picture or a painting or a sculpture... I just don't understand it. I first played this on my computer, but it works so much better in the touch medium.
It only takes about half an hour to finish, but the point isn't to complete it as quickly as possible.
The soundtrack is intriguing and the minimalist design looks really nice.
This is an adventure game through and through, and it definitely has an air of mystery about it... The quirky story-telling is entertaining, and I think I'll come to enjoy it the more I play. For now though, it's not for me.

5/10



Head over to https://www.humblebundle.com/ to buy your humble bundle, play some games and give a little to charity! Let me know what you think of these games in a comment below :)

NB. At the time of writing this bundle has a little over 5 days left on the clock, so act fast if you want to  get yours!

Tuesday 12 March 2013

Facial hair

So my foray into the realm of growing facial hair has come to an end. Genetics have failed me and the sporadic growth that I didn't so much as trim for two months came to be about 2cm long and as scraggly as you like. It didn't look great.
However, in the various Skypings (you know who you are!) I did whilst having this potential home to all kinds of unpleasant wildlife on my chin, the quality of the picture did make it look like I had a much more luscious beard. This led me to two potential solutions:

1) Never shave my "beard" again, but also never leave the house and conduct all future social interactions via Skype.
Not actually a bad idea, I wouldn't have to venture out into the cold and I could continue lying to myself that the vegetation on my chin actually looked good.

2) Shave off my "beard" and carry on doing so until such time that I can cultivate a much grander specimen.
Probably the best option, since one of my New Year's Resolutions was to take more pride in my appearance...

So, congratulations to all who raised objection time and again to the vegetation on my face: you have succeeded once more in persuading me to shave it all off. Yes, I'm looking at you Elsie.
Actually, in a sporadic fit of passion, I took the electric razor to it on Sunday night, so I can't actually provide photographic evidence of how terrible it actually was! Oh well!

See you next time!
x


What I'm Listening To
     Do Me A Favor by Stone Sour
I discovered Stone Sour properly just before they released their last album (A House of Gold and Bones Part 1). The album is just amazing. It's not for everyone, since the metal is strong with this one. Part 2 to the album is coming this April, and the song above is the first single. I only just found out that it's available, and I like it the more I listen to it. The metal is not so strong as the rock with this one, but it's still damned good! The only problem is that when watching the above video (that's a link up there if you didn't realise) I get really confused over the American spellings of most of the chorus... It's kind of annoying!
What I've Been Watching
     Should You Eat Yourself by Vsauce
There'll be a blog coming soon with my favourite youtubers (thanks to Siobhán for the inspiration on that one!), and this guy is definitely one of them. Have a watch and learn some amazingly cool stuff! Obviously there is the eponymous question of whether or not it's a good move to eat yourself, but there's also how your hair knows when to stop growing, what are those eye floaters and how much does wikipedia weigh? A really entertaining video that's only 7 minutes long, I urge you to watch! Just click the link above.
No really, click it.
Go on.
Click it.
It's right there.
Do it now.
Click it, come on!
What I've Been Reading
     1Q84 by Haruki Murakami
Still reading this badboy, but I'm almost half-way through it now and it's starting to get really interesting... Another moon has just appeared in the sky and the two main characters' backstory is getting really fleshed out and the links between them are becoming more and more clear... Also something that I can really recommend that you buy!


PS. If you enjoy my blog, please recommend it to a friend!

PPS. If you don't enjoy my blog, but read them out of some masochistic self-punishment, recommend it to someone you don't like!

And so, as the hair on my chin inexorably grows towards something not even remotely resembling an actual beard, and the clock on the wall ticks towards the inevitable doom of us all, I will end this blog.

Follow me on twitter:    @b_odwyer
Circle me on Google+:  +Bill O'Dwyer

Thursday 7 March 2013

Resolution Update

If you have no idea what my new year's resolutions are, and find yourself even having a modicum of care, go peruse my post about that, which can be found here.

So we're into March now, and I'm failing at most of my resolutions with the exception of the press-ups and Maia's lullaby...
I'm up to 66 press-ups per day, and it's get kind of gruelling, so I think I'm going to have to separate them out into clumps of thirty-something over the course of the day maybe. I'm quite keen to keep this one up, because it's giving me muscle definition that I've never experienced before!
Maia's lullaby is going fairly well, I've transcribed it into a bit of music-writing software so that I can tweak it more easily without a piano... It doesn't sound great played as MIDI, but it's a step up from just humming it to myself and trying to guess the right notes!

Let's see... Pride in my appearance is failing dramatically. I need a haircut, should probably shave this hideous growth on my chin into oblivion and I think I have spent more days unshowered than showered so far this year. I'll make more effort, oh gods of resolutions: I promise!
Practising Japanese is also going nowhere fast, despite my thinking to myself several times a day that I really ought to get some kind of system into place. So, in the interest of having a plan and sticking to it, I'm going to tell the Internet at large (not that large, the most views any one of my posts has received is about 50) that come the easter break (that's in about 12 days' time) I am going knuckle down, get myself a system together and stick to it. As the Internet, you have permission to punish me for not sticking to this promise.
Skills and hobbies... Well, I did sign up to a gym last week, but since then I haven't been back (planning to go this evening though). Also, I've found that playing Halo 4 online with a group of friends is considerably less depressing than playing it alone. Neither of these are really something interesting though, so I'll keep trying, shall I?

That's it, I'm signing off.
I'm not going to do a "What I've Been _______" this time, because this was just meant to be a quick update, and there's many more blogs in the pipeline!

Incidentally, I can recommend using an RSS reader so you can subscribe to all of your favourite blogs, and mine. I use google reader, and it's really quite useful - all of the posts of the blogs I read are collected into one place. If you do decide to use google reader, don't use the web-app as it's awful to use. Instead, use the android app as it's so much nicer!

Ciao for now.
xx